


side by side in orbit around the fairest sun

by notlovenotalways



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Asgard, Coping Mechanisms, Depression, F/M, Grief, Hallucinations, Post 3x01, bridge between 3x01 and 3x02, imaginary jemma, mentions of Elliot Randolph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4931752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notlovenotalways/pseuds/notlovenotalways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his breakdown, Fitz wakes up next to the Monolith with a gentle kiss on his forehead. He opens his eyes to see Jemma, again. She has a warning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	side by side in orbit around the fairest sun

**Author's Note:**

> this is something I wanted to get out before 3x02 airs and makes this all non-canon. I liked the idea of imaginary Jemma making an appearance to save Fitz this time, when he has spent so many months trying to save her. 
> 
> title from "Nightswimming" by R.E.M.

He had no idea how long he was out. As he regained a semblance of realization of the world around him, things poured in one by one:

His right hand was splayed open, pressed on the side of the Kree Monolith.

His back was pressed against the floor of the cage containing the object.

He wiggled the foot that was pressed against one of the platform steps.

His head was warm in someone’s lap, a soft open palm pressed against the side of his face.

“Jemma,” he whispered, eyes still closed.

He felt a pair of lips on his forehead. “Fitz, you have to get up.”

His eyes remained closed. “I don’t want to.”

“They’ll be here any minute. Bobbi will pump you with sedatives, Mack and Coulson may even lock you in Vault D. You have to move,” she whispered quietly into his ear, nuzzling the lobe with the tip of her nose.

“If I open my eyes, you’ll be gone.”

“Fitz, I am here. I am right here with you. Just please get up. Please move,” Jemma pleaded. He sighed and opened his eyes.

 _This_ Jemma stared down at him, concern etched on her features. Her hair was soft, wavy. Her eyes bright with perfect makeup. She was wearing the black jacket she had on before his mission to the _Iliad_. The day she gave him the spark of hope that _maybe_ … she loved him as much as he loved her.

He squeezed her hand as she helped him to stand on his feet.

He let go quickly, rubbing his hands over his face. “You are not here.”

He opened his eyes again and she was gone.

 

 

Fitz made it as far as the lab when he was cornered by Coulson and Mack.

“Turbo,” he said, reaching his hand forward to touch Fitz’s forearm. “We’re going to need you to come with us.”

Fitz pulled his hand back like he had been burned. “You take your hands off me.”

Coulson narrowed his eyes towards the younger man. “You will do as we say.”

“I don’t give a damn what you say,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest. He raised his head in defiance.

Coulson continued. “I know you aren’t in your right mind right now, so I am going to let that slide. But Fitz…you broke protocol. You entered that room without permission and put yourself and every other person on this base in danger.”

“Until we determine you are no longer a threat to yourself or others, we have to take precautions. I’m sorry, Turbo.” Mack reached again to grab Fitz’s forearm, this time spinning him around and putting both hands behind his back. He placed handcuffs on Fitz’s wrist and Fitz winced at the cool metal cutting into his skin.

Jemma appeared behind Coulson, her eyes filled with tears. Her lip quivered.

“Fitz, do what he says,” she said softly.

Fitz looked up towards the image of Jemma, past Coulson’s shoulder. He nodded slightly. Coulson turned his shoulder to glance behind him and then looked back at Fitz.

“Who are you looking at, Fitz?” Coulson asked, his eyes wide.

“Nobody,” he said under his breath as Mack marched him towards Vault D.

 

 

Mack released his handcuffs and gently pushed him towards the twin bed in the corner of the vault. He backed up a few feet and reached for the tablet to lock the gate. “It’s only temporary,” Mack said, handing him a pair of beige scrubs to wear through the open slot. “Here, so you’re more comfortable. I’m sure you’re ready to get out of those clothes you’ve been wearing since you were in the desert,” he smirked.

“Don’t do that,” Fitz replied, taking the scrubs from him and unbuttoning his shirt. “You don’t get to do that anymore.”

Mack sighed. “Fitz. We are all worried about you. Coulson told me what the scroll said. Believe me when I say it’s time for you to accept the fact that she is gone and move on.”

Fitz stripped off his dirty shirt and trousers and pulled the cool, clean cotton over his arms and legs. He would never admit it to Mack, but he already felt a bit better. “I will never give up on her. She would do for the same for me. She’s done more for me than any of you ever have – or ever will.”

Mack nodded. “That’s true, buddy. You two have some history. You’ve known each other most of your lives. But that doesn’t mean that the people _here_ – Coulson, Daisy, Hunter, Bobbi, myself—don’t _also_ have your best interests at heart.”

“So what, you’re just going to lock me up in here until I stop looking for Jemma? Because believe me, you’ll be waiting a long time,” Fitz chuckled as he paced the floor of his cell.

Mack sighed. “I’m sorry to hear that, buddy. But understand this—if you continue to put the people on this base in danger, I will continue to make sure that the threat is neutralized.”

“Until what, Mack? Are you going to be a good Agent and put me down?” Fitz glared at him through the invisible wall.

Mack squeezed his hands into fists beside him. “I won’t stand by and listen to this. You will be treated fairly, as a SHIELD agent. You will have access to food and water at normal times and whenever you ask. But you won’t be seeing me for a while. I can’t see you like this.”

“Like when I first met you. She was your best friend, I get that. And that will be a hard loss to get over. But we’ve ALL lost people we love. We aren’t putting anyone else in danger. Fitz, you have to move on.”

Fitz sat on the bed, defeated. He put his head in his hands. “Get out.”

Mack punched some buttons on the tablet to make his side of the wall invisible to Fitz. He then walked up the stairs and back into the base.

 

 

It was hard to tell time while trapped in the Vault. That was part of the point. Fitz tried not to think about Grant Ward sleeping in this same bed. How that monster was out there roaming free, building up Hydra again, and he was stuck here, made prisoner by the people who were supposed to be his family.

He had that all wrong _. Jemma_ was his family. She was his only family. And now she was gone. He laid his head on the side of the pillow, closing his eyes and willing the tears not to spill out onto his cheek.

“I’m here, with you. I will never leave you,” a quiet voice broke his isolation. Jemma swiped her thumb across his cheek. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down to lay beside him. He pulled her into his embrace, his lips pressing to the back of her neck.

“I miss you so much,” he said. “I can’t do this without you.”

“Please don’t give up on me, I am out there,” she said, squeezing his hand that was wrapped around her stomach.

“You are dead,” he replied firmly.

“No, no, Fitz. You haven’t thought of everything. The rock isn’t a black hole, it’s a portal. It took me somewhere else. It took me somewhere near Asgard.”

Fitz sat up and looked at her with wide eyes. “Asgard?”

She placed a hand on his cheek. “Find Elliot Randolph.”

His eyes filled with tears as she blinked out of sight, again.

 

 

Coulson looked at the Vault feed with great worry. With the audio turned on, it was painfully obvious that Fitz was hallucinating Jemma and having a conversation with her. This was much worse than he originally thought. _How long had he been hallucinating her?_

He sent Daisy and Bobbi down the following morning with a proper Scottish breakfast for him.

“It was a little difficult to find Haggis around DC, but we found it,” Bobbi said as Daisy turned on the tablet to open up the small hole to push through the tray of food.

Fitz sat with his arms and legs crossed on his bed, his eyes closed. “I’m not hungry.”

Bobbi and Daisy looked at each other with concern.

“Okay, well maybe you can tell us how long you’ve been seeing Jemma,” Daisy began.

Fitz looked up at her with alarm. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Daisy sighed. She moved her hand towards the camera on the corner of the wall and used her powers to dismantle the video and sound.

“We’re alone now, Fitz. Just tell us the truth. Have you been hallucinating Jemma again?”

Fitz put his head in his hands.

Bobbi touched the invisible wall. It moved slightly with her touch. “Fitz, we only want to help you. Please let us help you.”

Fitz sighed. “She… she was gone for a while. I hadn’t seen her since before she came back from Hydra. Yesterday she appeared again, after I collapsed against the monolith.”

Daisy nodded. “Okay. What did she do?”

“She…” Fitz’s lip quivered. He wiped the unshed tears from his eyes onto his wrist. “She was holding my head. She kissed my forehead and told me I had to move. She told me you all would sedate me and put me in Vault D. And she was right,” he glared at the two women across from him.

“Fitz, we did that to protect you from yourself. You broke into a closed area and blew the locks of the monolith cage with a shotgun. You are not in your right mind. It is our job to protect you and everyone on this base,” Daisy said calmly.

Fitz chuckled bitterly. “Protect everyone? What about Jemma? She is OUT THERE somewhere and you people have done nothing to help! She was your best friend! And all the sudden, you got these powers and changed your name and now it’s like you’ve forgotten about her—it’s like none of you give a damn what happened to her!” Fitz threw the plate of food against the wall.

Bobbi touched Daisy’s shoulder as her eyes filled with tears.

“Fitz, that’s not fair and you know it. I cried for months over Jemma. You have no idea what I’ve been through—what we’ve all been through. You’ve been too busy worshipping your own pain!” Daisy cried.

“Okay, you were upset, Daisy, I get that, but you gave up on her—you all gave up on her—and it’s my job. It’s MY job to find her. And I won’t stop until I do,” Fitz replied.

Daisy cried softly into her hands as Bobbi put her arm around her shoulders.

“Okay, Fitz, what’s your plan? What exactly is the next move?” Bobbi asked.

Fitz sighed, pressing his hands and forehead against the invisible wall. “The rock is a portal. Jemma was taken somewhere—somewhere alien. Possibly Asgard. We need to find Elliot Randolph.”

Daisy looked up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Wait, what? How do you know this?”

Fitz looked down. “It’s just an idea I had. Contact Randolph, get him here. I think he can help us.”

Bobbi and Daisy looked at each other with concern.

“Okay, but we have to run it by Coulson. Please tell me you will be okay down here for a bit while we check this out,” Bobbi said. “You are scaring the shit out of everyone.”

Fitz nodded, his eyes bright. “I promise. Find Randolph. Tell him Simmons is in danger. He will be happy to help, I am sure.”

Daisy nodded. “Okay, Fitz.” She turned and walked towards the stairs.

Bobbi spared one last glance at Fitz. “Are you sure I can’t bring you anything else?”

Fitz sighed. “Maybe some beer?”

Bobbi gave him a small smile. “You’ve got it.”

When he was finally alone again, he turned around to find Jemma sitting on his bed. She smiled and opened her arms to him.

He crawled slowly into the bed, placing his head on her lap. She ran her fingers through his soft hair.

“Jemma, we are coming to get you.”

“I know, Fitz, I know. You always do.”

With the gentle pressure of Jemma’s fingertips on his scalp, he was asleep within minutes.

 


End file.
